Pressure and Balance

I've been sitting here staring at this blank screen for the last ten minutes trying to find my voice, deciding what to share about the past week and trying to come up with something the least bit interesting.  I've got nothing.  This mental block could be because it's almost two o'clock in the morning or it could be because this past week I've been trying to teach myself to let go.  I'm trying to learn how to let go of the pressures I put on myself and here I've let go of all the thoughts in my head.  I haven't even taken a single picture this week, apparently I've let go of my camera too.  So I'll share some pictures of our trip to the museum last weekend and any thoughts that happen to pop into this empty head.





As I stated I've been working on letting go.  I've got to learn to relax, stop putting pressure on myself, quit worrying and live in the moment.  Things may seem all happy-go-lucky all the time but behind each and every photo my mind is running a list.....there's laundry that needs to be done, I need to change the sheets on the bed, I need to go to the grocery store, the floors need vacuumed, I need to update the blog, I haven't updated Maddie's actual baby book since she was six months old.  Nonsense.  That is what runs through my head like a constant ticker.







I have to stop.  Who really cares about the towels in the dryer?  I know Maddie doesn't and Ryan is just fine with using them from the dryer and could care less if they are folded neatly and put away in the closet.  I put this pressure on myself that everything has to be neat, tidy and perfect all the time.  If I want to enjoy these precious moments with my daughter and husband, I know that this internal demand isn't realistic. 





I strive to be a perfect daughter, sister, aunt, wife, daughter-in-law and ultimately a perfect mother.  No one, not one person in my life has ever demanded that I be perfect because again that's not realistic, it's all me.  I'm a perfectionist and I'm a people pleaser.  Two traits that I embrace but I'm now learning to balance.



As I find the balance, I know that sometimes things will be messy.....



but in the end it will work out and be for the better. 



There, I've updated the blog, that's one thing I've checked off my list.  Now I've got to go fold those towels in the dryer.  Just kidding....I'm going to bed.  Goodnight.